After spending much of this week in a kind of a fog, I think I've figured out why I've been in this funk lately. I don't feel the same about myself as I used to, physically and career-wise.
Physically, I'm in the worse shape now than I think I've ever been in. I tried to ignore it but the now infamous ball dress incident really put a spotlight on it. Not that I want to be rail thin or lose weight to fit any type of mold, I just want to be me, only like 8 years ago. When I was an undergrad, I took my body for granted. I had a flat stomach, not a six pack, but still I could show it without worrying about scaring small children (the cleavage on the other hand .... a different story). I had just enough butt and thighs to provoke a second glance, but not so much that imagine myself in gauchos is enough to make me frown in disgust. But did I exercise? No. Did I continue to eat any and everything any time of the day? Yes.
Don't get me wrong, I like me. I just would like me better if I could wear a crop top. Not that I would wear a crop top, but I would like the option to be able to if I wanted. So, I've given myself a goal: to be able to wear this fitted jacket and pants combo (you know, the jacket where you leave the bottom open to show a little stomach?) to the sorority's big party in May. And with a little help from the Mister, I'm already on my way.
As for the career part, I'll get into that later. I've finished my cardio and I have to get to some squats and lunges. After all, this ass isn't going to lift itself!
Addition: Feel free to provide to the iPod fund (after all my birthday is in like ... 5 months). Why am I the only MF on the elliptical machine rocking a portable CD player? It's not right I tell you, it's just not right!