Wednesday, March 29, 2006


So for like the last week, I’ve been feeling really blah about myself and life in general. But I don’t really know why. Nothing’s really doing it for me lately. Even my normal triggers have no effect. Case-in-point: I pick up my pink suede jacket from the dry cleaners yesterday. The ish cost like $40 but I figure it’s suede you know, so I didn’t expect it to be cheap. So I get ready to put it on today, and lo and behold there’s a rip right beside the button. Those mfs had the ish buttoned so I wouldn’t notice, and they probably figured weeks would go by before I found it and then they could blame it on me. So, what did I do?

Nothing. Not yet anyway. See what I’m saying? Ok, I called the number I got from the operator every hour until I got off (nobody picked up!), but really. Is that what No Limit would do? Hell to the naw. On a regular day, I would have considered going up there before work and waiting until they opened. Realizing they open at 10, and I have to be at work at 7:30, I would have nixed that idea and went to work. Then I would have called 10 times in a row. Getting no answer, I fly over to the dry cleaner, whip out the jacket, point to the hole and say, “Gimme my money back, b@#$%es!” Ok, I probably wouldn’t curse at them the first go around, but it makes for a better scene though, right?

Anyway, the point is I’ve been here all day and have done nothing. I’m going to go after work and try to work something out. This might seem like a step in the right direction, or even “growth” as RR2 incorrectly surmised. To me it’s boring. When I failed to get worked up about something, that’s not a good thing. I even bought two pairs of shoes yesterday in an attempt to get over this funk. Nothing. If I thought a third pair would help, I might even order another. Maybe I should try, just to be on the safe side. I've lost my fire. So, what should I do to get over this boredom? How do I get my spark back? I don’t know.

I saw a casting call for this reality show on MTV where journalists compete for a year-long stint as a Rolling Stone contributor. RR2 says I should try out and she’ll help with the audition tape. Yeah, it’s silly, and do I really want to show my a$$ on TV? Not really. But if at least sending the stuff in and letting myself dream for a minute gets me my “mojo” back, I think I’ll do it.

Plus, I’m taking the jacket in a few minutes to try to get my money back. If they try to front like they don’t want to help me, I might get my fire back sooner than expected.

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